You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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