You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
