When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
