Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
