I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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