i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
