Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
