She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
