Porn is love you can see.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
