i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
