Kiss
Puke
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
