Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
