Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
