no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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