I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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