I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
