He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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