Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
