me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
