Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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