brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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