Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
