I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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