kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im holly from the hills drunk
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize