Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
