so explain again why im purple
no
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
