i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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