just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
only you would photoshop your dick
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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