I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
is it fun? or sober?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
