Swine flu. Run for my life!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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