Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize