dude i'm inner monologue high
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
