i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
