If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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