Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize