I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She said her name was "party"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
