if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize