it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize