kristin has been a bad kristin
I have demons in me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
