You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize