Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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