i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
