Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
