How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
