I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
