Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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