If i come over, it means nothing
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
God I need to hump something, right now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
