I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize