so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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