You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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