You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
