just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize