Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
