Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
