i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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