'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
