Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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