so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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